This special day is for many an opportunity to honour their partner. For others it is a commercial celebration. For me, it is an opportunity to celebrate love in all its forms. But what is love?
In this article I want to share love with you, and how sometimes love can surprise you. Because love sometimes needs help, I share with you the keys that I put in place in my daily life with my darling to help our relationship grow.
The “Beatles” were already singing “All you need is love” and for me love and appreciation are the key.
1st key: Meeting love:
I don’t know about you, but for me, for a very long time I was afraid to approach the girls. I told myself a whole bunch of crazy stories like: “She’s too good for me”, “I’m not up to it”, “if she ever says no”, “I don’t know her”, “she’ll laugh in my face”. Anyway, I’m sure it’s happened to you before, too, right? And even for you girls, I’m sure sometimes you’ve told yourself that too.
We all wish at some point in our lives to meet love and at the same time we are also very afraid of being rejected. And how could we meet love without even wanting to meet it ourselves. I understood that if I wanted to meet love, I would have to expose myself, show myself, put myself in “danger”.
2nd key: To detach from the result.
As in many other areas, love does not escape this simple rule of being detached from the result. Indeed, the more we put our expectations at a certain level, the more likely we would be disappointed. This is what used to happen to me, I wanted to please the women I was talking about. I put high expectations in this result, and when I didn’t achieve it, I felt disappointed and frustrated. Of course, it reinforced what I had said to myself just before: “Finally I was right, I am not good enough for her”, “I am not handsome”, “I am not her type”. In short, I was creating a non-virtuous circle that pushed me not to expose myself further. Have you ever felt that way? I suppose so, yes. When I realized that the reaction of the women I was approaching did not belong to me, so I began to detach myself from this result of “pleasing”, then finally I began to appreciate all the more the process of “flirting”. My life would not change any worse if the expected result was not there. On the other hand, it could improve if it were present. By telling myself that, I learned to put it into perspective.
Key 3: Be “Bold”.
Once I had this real desire to meet love, when I detached myself from the result, what would I do next? I’ll tell you how the Bold allowed me to meet my darling.
I had been to a café in Nouméa with a friend of mine. We were sitting at tables and talking. When two young women came in for a moment. Of course, one of them caught my eye. At first, I didn’t want to disturb them while continuing to observe this beautiful young woman sitting in front of me. Fate, where you can call it what you want, offered me an opportunity: her friend got up. What would you have done in my place? I thought about what I had to lose: I didn’t know her and if she didn’t want me to see her again, my life wouldn’t have changed. If she accepts to see me again then I could feel even more gratitude for life. Immediately the result was no longer important to me. Bold, I got up, sat next to her and started by saying to her: “We don’t know each other, I take advantage of your friend being gone, I would like to see you again, here’s my card. ».
At the time, she found my approach bold, and didn’t give her number.
I had gone through the first three steps, how to build the relationship now.
4th key: be present and listen
After a few remote exchanges via the Internet, we found ourselves without waiting in Sydney, Australia. She was able to overcome her fear of being rejected and embarked on the adventure of joining me here in Sydney. She came without waiting for the result: “I am like that if you accept me, so much the better if you do not accept me, it is because you are not made for me”. (See Gelstat prayer). We accepted each other as we were, without wanting to change each other or make it as we would like it to be.
Key 5: Maintaining the relationship
We were at the beginning of our relationship. Like many things in life, a love relationship must be nurtured every day. It’s like brushing your teeth, we do it every day. Do you think that if I brush my teeth 6 times during the day, I won’t have to do it the next day? of course not. Every day, we brush our teeth. Maintaining a loving relationship must also be part of everyday life; whether it is through small attentions, kind words or simply listening, being present. Ask yourself what YOU can bring to the relationship to make it grow without expecting anything from the other.
I am these 5 keys to maintaining our relationship, just like my darling does too. So we don’t feel disappointed or frustrated since both of us don’t expect each other to make us happy.