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Let me ask you something: How do you know you like or not an ice cream flavour? Do you try it? Of course. 
To know which flavour of ice cream 🍦 we like, we need to try some, maybe not all, but enough to identify which one ☝️ we like. 

How to set a destination will guide us to our purpose?

Defining a Destination to help us find our Way

What we are looking when we define our goals, is not perfection, but progression. Imagine that you want to make a Road Trip, you need at least a destination, and while you drive you can find better places, tourist drive, enjoy 😊 new sceneries, and maybe find a place you like even more than your first destination. 

Defining your goals is the same; if we don’t know what your goals could be, maybe your goals could be “defining your goals”. 

I start using this tool to set my Life Goals and my life changed

From my experience, I figure out that there is a more efficient way to define your goals than others. Many tools 🧰 we can find out there talk about the “where and when”. Sometimes the “who and the who else” (called the why). 

I found many people get stuck on their “where/when” and “who else”. The majority forget some critical parts of their goals: the “What”, “How” and “Why”. 

That said, you might start wonder:” ok, so what to do?”. Before giving you the process, I would like to warn you; this is one of the most powerful tools to define your goals I have used so far. Be aware; it might change your life more quickly than you can imagine. It has helped millions of people so far. I take this opportunity to thanks Dr Robert DILTS and the fantastic work of Dr Gregory BATESON. 

Why defining our life goals is not easy for everyone

For some of us, it is already evident, and for some of us, it is still blurry, and for some, we cannot even start to have a vision. Because let’s face it, we are not all visionary’s. Only a few of us are, and that is normal, we are not all good at mathematics like we are not all good at being creative, and that is perfect this way. Does not mean you can not progress or improve, it just means that for some of us it is easier for others. It is like eating, sometimes we are not hungry, and hunger comes while eating, let’s make us hungry. 

Even we do not have a clear vision, through the steps, you get clearer on your vision and most of all, on your MISSION. How would your life be if everything you were doing today was attached to your mission? I bet you would have a significant change in your life or continue to improve it. Remember, it does not have to be perfect; it needs to give your Direction towards what you want. To do this exercise, you can do it on your own by following the video, or you can be helped by a friend to take notes and help you be more precise in your sentences. 

The first Neurological is the “Environment”, the Where and When of your vision. 

Start by creating a representation of your dream life. When do you live your dream life? When will you have to reach your goals? When is it, 3 months, 1 year, 7 years, 20 years. Imagine that you are living your dream life, what is surrounding you? Who are the people around you? Where do you live? Do you live in a house or a flat? In your place, what kind of furniture? The more details there are, the more powerful it is. Remember, we talk at the present tense, we use things like: 

  • “I see that”, 
  • “There is that”, 
  • “The house is like that”, 

we avoid using wishes like: 

  • “I would like to have this”, 
  • “It would be great if.” 

and I am sure you got the idea. 

Examples: 

  • I live in a 3 Bedroom bottom of a villa with garden. 
  • I see the beach and sea from my bedroom. My brand new furniture is mostly from Koala. 
  • I have a vast living room with a dining room to receive friends. I have a kitchen, and there is my Thermomix and my Kangen filter out, so I use that every day.
  • There is one bathroom in each of the two bedrooms. 

Now, that you have defined your dream environment, we are going to define what do you do in this dream environment, the next level is Behaviours” in this level, we are going to answer the question, what? What do you do in this dream environment? 

Behaviour: What? 

As you look at this place, this dream environment: 

  • what are the specifics things you are doing? 
  • What do you do differently in this dream environment? 
  • How do you move your body? 
  • How do you talk? What is your pace of speaking? 
  • What is your pace of walk? What is your posture? 

Again, be precise, us the present tense. The more details you give about your behaviours, the more powerful it is. 

Examples: 

  • I walk with certainty; 
  • my shoulders are straight. 
  • I speak with confidence. 
  • My speaking pace is medium speed.
  •  I stand tall and proud. 
  • I use my hand with efficiency when I talk, etc…. 

Now, that you have defined the behavioural level, let’s move to the Capabilities and Skills level, here is the “HOW” level. 

We are seeking skills and capabilities that are going to support behaviours in your dream environment:  

  • What do you need to behave? 
  • What will you need as skills and capabilities? 
  • How are you going to support your behaviour? 
  • How is that supporting the behaviour in this dream environment

Again, we want here to use the present tense. Remember, each step is here to reinforce the previous one and the present tense leverage the reinforcement. Again, it does not need to be perfect, and remember too, that you may have skills and capabilities in some areas of your life, that could be GREAT to use in some other areas of your life. 

Example: 

  • I have public speaking skills, 
  • I know how to interact well with people. 
  • I have self-consciousness skills. 
  • I eat healthily. 
  • I genuinely listen to people. 

Let’s move to the next level, which is Values and Beliefs, the Why question that so many confuse with their mission. You why here is just your unconscious filter and drive towards or away. Why you do it, why you do not do it, why do you eat this salad, and why you buy this book. Why you do the thing you do, in a way, of what is your internal program and filter: 

  • What are the Values and beliefs support those capabilities and skill and actions? 
  • What else, what kind of beliefs and values support your skill and capabilities, that support your behaviours in this dream environment? 
  • What do you value? 
  • What do you hold in your heart to have those skills and capabilities and behaviours? 

Example: 

  • I value my health,
  • I believe that my body is my temple. 
  • I believe that everyone has great potential within. 
  • I value fun and playfulness. 
  • I believe that I am the most important person. 
  • I believe that I can do it. 
  • I value myself

We now start to have a brighter, more precise and aligned goals. There are 2 more levels to go through to align your goals and your mission. If you have followed those 4 steps and play full out, you may start to feel more confident about your goals. The next step wraps those previous 4 and transforms it to help you get the driving force to do the things you need to do to get to your goals. 

The next level it the identity level, this the WHO

  • Who are you? What kind of person are you? Think about a metaphor of all, think of an analogy of who this person would be? What kind of person has these beliefs and values that support her capabilities and skills that support her behaviours in this dream environment? Think of something that could wrap all the above. Don’t overthink this part, think of the first thing that comes to your mind. When you think about your dream environment, your behaviour, the skills and capabilities, the beliefs and values; Who are you? Think of an analogy, a metaphor that summarises all. 

Examples:  

  • I am An Eagle because an eagle has excellent eyes and can see long distance, he has a big-picture because he is flying very high. 
  • I am a Bee, because a bee is independent and come back to the hive to take care of the hive and in the same times, it is autonomous. 
  • I am a butterfly because a butterfly flies around with his big wing, is beautiful and full of colours.

For the next level and last, we are going to your purpose and mission, for who else, for what bigger than you are you doing the thing you do?

Start to visualise your previous analogy, your identity, in a much broader system. Your analogy/metaphor has a role in that system, a purpose. What is your vision, what kind of image would you have of the more extensive system that your metaphor is in? What is your metaphor? What is your vision? How do you see the more extensive system that you are part of? 

Examples:  

  • Like an Eagle, I am part of a big forest, I see everything that happens in the forest from where I am, with my big wings I protect the smallest and I make sure the forest I safe. It is like a Canadian forest with big green trees. 
  • Like a butterfly, I am part of a big garden, with many flowers all around, different flowers. I fly from one to another. 

Now, take a deep breath in, and out. How do you feel? 

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